She was a new member
of a group I was in. She told us the following story as a way of helping us get
to know her a little more. She opened the story by saying that when she gets
stressed, she watches animal rescue videos. That’s how she saw the videos that
revealed this story. When I grasped what the video held, what the story meant
for us, I knew I wanted to write about it. In this case, it seemed to me, that
this rescue rescues us.
She shared what had
touched her so much. The video was about the rescue of lab animals. In this
case it was a group of chimpanzees. They had spent from 30 to 50 years locked
in cages in the nation’s laboratories. They were gathered, and taken to a chimp
refuge, that had been constructed for them. The people at the refuge had put
them in an indoor enclosure to give them a chance to adjust to each other and
the alien environment they were in. There was a larger outdoor enclosure for
them, and the video depicted what happened when they were introduced to it.
Finally, the day
came when a door to the outside opened. The chimps had never been freed
outdoors before. When the door opened grey-muzzled chimps stood and just
stared. They had never seen the sky before. They had never trod on the earth,
or seen and climbed a tree. They just looked out the door.
After a time, one
ventured slowly out. Then another. Soon many of them entered, what must have
been to them, a very strange landscape. Then they did something remarkable.
They stopped and hugged each other. They embraced each other for a while, then
broke up, and went on and explored the whole enclosure. Some climbed trees,
some walked around, some played with each other, and some held back and
remained at the door. The video ended shortly after that, with the commentator
reporting that the rescued chimps were proceeding to learn how to recreate
their dominance hierarchy and resume normal chimp life.
The story of these
rescued chimps, and particularly their hugs, did something to me. I knew
instantly that their story is our story. That we, as grey-muzzled humans, had
spent most of our lives enclosed in a reality that isn’t natural to us. We are
being released, by age, and by circumstance, into a larger enclosure. In some
way, each of us old ones, is like those lab chimps. I haven’t seen my own
natural habitat before. The landscape of old age is before me. Its never been
seen before. And it is going to take a good, long hug to explore it.
I am an advocate for
community. Maybe, that’s why the chimp’s hugs touched me. I have said that my
real work is the restoration of humanity’s natural social habitat. That is what
I experienced when the chimps embraced. I know that the instinct to embrace is
a survival mechanism. We are social animals. If our lives are threatened we are
drawn together, toward that embrace. The last, and greatest comfort, we can
draw as we face the unknown, is the body of another. There is something about
that bodily warmth, the quivering solidity of flesh, the heartbeat of another,
which calms animal alarms. When we embrace another, we are embracing our selves.
It is my sense that
the exploration of the unknown landscape we have been released into, (by virtue
of reaching this advanced age) is facilitated by our embrace. For years now, I
have been marveling at how much our old minds are enlivened by being in each
other’s presence. There is no immunity to the ravages of an ageist culture like
elder community. The warm embrace of rheumy hugs, familiar laughter, knowing
looks, and compassionate hearts, rejuvenates my soul and lends resilience to my
efforts. I am going to my grave, but not without knowing something about being
thoroughly human. My sense of community gives me that.
Chimpanzees hugging
reminded me about what really matters. There is no landscape like that of
another similar body. Getting old, and being deemed useless, has allowed me to
taste a freedom deeper than anything I imagined. Now a chimp’s hug, has
reassured me. The way to explore this new largeness is together. I have experienced
how my greying visage has come more to life because of the community I’m
immersed in. The uncertain and awkward stories we have told each other, the
heartbreaks and triumph we’ve shared, and the our tentative embraces, have
introduced a new world. They are also providing me the temerity to explore it.
I end this piece
with a poem. These are the words of Annie Dillard. I found them in her book Holy, The Firm. I turned them into a
poem. They speak for themselves. Each of
us is alone. Each of us is a part of community, connected by who we are, as
much as what we do. In any case, there is only us.
No One But
Us
There is no one
but us.
There is no one
to send,
nor a clean
hand,
nor a pure
heart
on the face of
the earth,
nor in the
earth
but only us,
a generation
comforting ourselves
With the notion
That we have
come at an awkward time,
That our
innocent fathers are all dead —
As if innocence
has ever been —
And our
children busy and troubled,
And we
ourselves unfit, not yet ready,
Having each of
us chosen wrongly,
Made a false
start, failed,
Yielded to
impulse
And the tangled
comfort of pleasures,
And grown
exhausted,
unable to seek
the thread,
weak, and
involved.
But there is no
one but us.
There never has
been.
From Holy The
Firm by Annie Dillard
l/d
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Here are the links
to the YouTube videos that informed this piece.
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